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Reframing for PTSD By Chaplain Steven Davis, Ph.D. Division III EAU FBI HQ sdavis@spiritofthelaw.org 301-645-1000 One of the tough issues for rescue workers, no matter how many lives they saved, is dealing with the lives that were not saved. Images, smells, sounds, sensations all may trigger unwanted memories of torn bodies, failed efforts to resuscitate, lives that just could not be saved. These intrusive memories can come at any time, any place and any situation. They come in the form of dreams when the worker tries to escape by going to sleep. What are some ways of dealing with this, right now? We may not have months and months for therapies and medications. First off, there must be the recognition that a body has to have certain minimal criteria in place for someone to live in it. (I believe that a body is a place where the spirit of the individual lives, for as long as the body is habitable). On some level, most rescue workers have a practical understanding of this. That is the reason when trying to keep a person alive, they will say things like, “Stay with us, now! Don’t leave us, just a few more minutes, we’ll be at the hospital,” and things like that. This is an important and healthy understanding. When a body is wounded or damaged to the point that the spirit can no longer remain in it, the spirit will leave. We call that death. Sometimes we are able to work on the body and make repairs and give support that enables it to be habitable. Sometimes the body is too damaged to sustain life; in these cases, there is nothing anyone can do. But, there is intrinsic value of being with a person during their last minutes and seconds. For a person to know that another human being is doing his or her absolute best to help them and keep them alive is, in itself valuable. For the worker who is left behind, there is a profound sense of loss, and maybe failure, but this is where reframing needs to come into play. Suppose I am able to perform emergency measures and enable a wounded person to live for an extra two or three minutes. Is that worthwhile? For an emergency worker, the theoretical answer is “yes,” but the actual reaction is, “no, I lost him.” How about if the individual is able to live for two or three weeks? Is that a rescue? Or two or three months? Years? Decades? First off, no one is going to live forever in his or her body, and all will ultimately leave their bodies; everyone dies. We don’t know when or how, but we know it will happen. This is a moot point, but a VERY important one. Jesus Christ and healings. Suppose we think of the multitudes that were healed by Jesus Christ. Let’s drop in on one of those days where the multitudes came to Him and they were healed. This may be a smaller crowd, and the multitude consists of only fifty or so individuals who got healed from their various diseases and afflictions. One of the first ones to get healed leaves to return home, leaping for joy, shouting praises to God. And, in her excitement, she steps out in front of an oxcart, and gets killed. Did Jesus waste His healing power? Would it have been better if He had picked someone less excitable to heal? Was she worth healing? Did He lose her? NO! She was relieved, she felt loved, she felt worthwhile, her suffering was alleviated, she was filled with joy . . . and she gave praises to God. Others around her were thrilled, happy and felt encouraged. Whenever suffering is lessened on the face of the earth, it is worthwhile. One of the old men was healed of his blindness got too near to the edge of a cliff just outside the town where he was healed – and he fell over and died on the rocks below! Just ten minutes after being healed! Should Jesus have healed a wiser blind person instead of this man? Maybe a more cautious one? No. The man was so captivated by the beauty of nature, and in his joy and wonder, he didn’t take the precautions that a more experienced person would have. But for those ten minutes of sight he was overjoyed, happy, thankful and just grateful to be alive! The next person who got healed went out and got a job – as a roofer. Due to his inexperience, three weeks later, he slips off a roof and breaks his neck, dying within minutes. Was his healing worth more, or was it worth less than the woman’s healing above? How about the one who got healed, worked hard and made a fortune in only two years, but was killed in an ambush by a gang of thieves? His healing only prolonged his life by two years! Two of the young men healed of tuberculosis that day got involved in a gang, in fact the very gang that killed the rich man above, two years later! If they hadn’t been healed, the rich guy would not have been killed! Maybe Jesus should not have wasted His healing power on those two! Then there was the woman who fell down the steps five years later. And the man who lived ten more years, only to die of pneumonia. One or two of the ones Jesus healed that day lived on twenty or thirty years, and three of them lived well into their seventies. Which of these healings was the most worthwhile? ALL of them! Should Jesus have used His powers to look into the future and only heal those who would eat right, exercise, use caution and who had good genetics? Of course not! He knew that the value of saving lives and bringing healing is in the moment itself. The moment of one human being reaching out to another human being and caring. The value is in doing one’s best to ease suffering, to bring wellbeing and comfort. There is value in demonstrating that someone else on the earth thinks you are worthwhile enough to give you all they’ve got, in order to try to help you stay in the body here on earth. Once that is demonstrated, whatever else follows is a different chapter. How long did the food last? How about when Jesus fed the multitudes with bread and fish? How long did that last? Maybe three hours, and then they were all hungry again. As hungry as if He had never fed them! Was that a wasted miracle? No. He made them feel loved, cared for and that God was willing to move in their lives, even if the comfort was only for two or three hours. Suppose Jesus had them line up according to how slow their metabolism was! “OK, all you with slow metabolisms get in the front of the line, and those who are always hungry within twenty minutes of eating, you get in the back.” Would that have enhanced the miracle? Of course not! Again, the value is in the interaction, the caring, the comforting, the giving of what you have. What happens afterword is not part of the incident. Arriving after the fact. Sometimes, a worker can arrive on the scene too late. When he or she arrives, death has already happened. There is nothing to be done. Carnage, destruction and waste is all that greet the worker. Powerful smells, overwhelming visuals. What then? When reading the testimonials of those who have clinically died and have been resuscitated, almost without fail you find them saying that they hovered in the room, they floated above their bodies, they saw the doctors or EMT’s working on their bodies. That is a powerful comfort for the rescue worker. If the human spirits of the people on the scene are truly able to observe and listen, then your presence was proof to them that someone cared enough to come to the scene. Your efforts on their bodies, where you thought there may be a chance of saving them are observed and they can know that their lives were of value and that other humans cared about them. Your evaluations of the scene may help them to accept that they are not coming back into their bodies, and must move on. But YOU did not fail. You answered the call, you got your gear, you found where they were and you did what you could with those where it seemed there was a possibility of them being able to live in their bodies. Faces of the dying. For many, the faces of the dying keep coming back. In intrusive memories, in dreams, in random appearances. How do we deal with that? With the context from above, that ALL efforts are worthwhile, that there is no failure, there is the comforting of the person with a damaged body, there is the demonstration of caring and efforts made on their behalf, these faces that keep coming back can be better dealt with. When suddenly seeing the face of a dying individual in a dream, where it is so powerful that I wake up in a cold sweat with my heart pounding, the first thing I need to do is to INTERPRET for myself what it means. That person who was clearly in pain, afraid of dying, and who was clutching at my sleeve when they expired (which by the way means “lost the spirit”), could I say that they were on ANY level thanking me? Were they on ANY level grateful for my efforts? Could it be true AT ALL that my being there was the only thing that made it bearable? Suppose I interpreted the flashbacks as the person THANKING me for making their passage more bearable; that they left the earth with a total stranger trying to help them, just because they were a human being and that in itself has value? Could my presence at a homicide scene, and my efforts to save lives in bodies that were too damaged been also a statement to a person that SOMEONE cared enough about them to try to save them, even though the murderer was hate filled, or anger filled? Could that help a person to leave here with a better sense of perspective? Suppose all those scenes (because we remember the ones that we did not save) are reminders that I WAS there for people at the most important moment of their lives, when their body finally got to the point it was uninhabitable – but I worked on them even after I knew inside that they were gone, and I went the second mile for them. How would I feel then? Suppose the look in their eyes wasn’t totally fear or torment, but was GRATITUDE? Could they have been thanking me as they were leaving? Suppose they were, then how would I feel when I see that face over and over again – and this time knowing they were thanking me wordlessly, but in their pain it didn’t come across as “thank you.” Reality check. In reality DO I believe that every person I tried to save was on any level grateful AT ALL? Would I be grateful if I was wounded terribly and someone did everything they could to help me? Of course I would! So why would they be any different? Even if I was not conscious on a cognitive level, I know that people have a level of awareness even when they cannot respond, and on that level I can know that they were appreciative and that I made a difference. What if no one else understands what I am going through? Guess what? No one else EVER fully understands what anyone else is going through. They don’t fully understand my joys, my loves, my excitements, and by the same token, they cannot fully understand my fears, flashbacks, responses and anxieties. And, I cannot understand them fully either. So in the end, that is irrelevant. My job is to not over analyze, to take care of myself, to be grateful for the opportunity to have helped even one fellow human being; I need to also recognize that at times I need to back off a bit, and allow myself to neutralize some of what I have been exposed to. I may need to take a break, change my duty for a few weeks or months, or find some positive way to give my heart, mind and spirit a break. Negative coping attempts. Alcohol is the first and easiest means of attempting to forget and to have a break from trauma and stress. But, alcohol is a depressant and has a proven track record of failure when it comes to helping a person to deal with stress in the long term. Many in law enforcement and rescue work have developed alcohol dependencies and have destroyed their relationships, driving records and careers. Gambling also can provide some temporary endorphins, but there is the letdown when they subside, as well as the very real negative consequences of losing more than we can afford to lose, and the drive to gamble more, to win back our losses. You don’t want to set yourself up for more stress and a possible gambling addiction. Non prescribed Drugs can wreck your career, affect your income, wreck your relationships and still leave you as tormented as before, only now you have even more negative memories. Affairs are common and easily initiated as a means of dealing with stress. A new love interest is exciting, offers hope, gives you the chance to dream again, and is a great distraction. On the other side of the balance are the stressors of discovery, of the affair not working out, of divorce and the fighting that comes as the “poop hits the fan.” Also, the stressors that drove you to the affair will still be there and cause tension and stress in this relationship as it has in the previous ones. Positive coping strategies. Getting outside interests is a must. For most of us who are incredibly focused and tend to do well at whatever we do, this is a tough one. We don’t want to be distracted. But we need to have a diversion. Get a Hobby. Finding something else to use your brain on, to bring refreshment and to get your thoughts away from trauma and stress is a must. Street rods. For me, working on street rods out in my garage is a good way to unwind and process my life. I have a detached garage and a 1950 Chevy panel truck I am currently working on. I’ve put it on an S10 chassis, lowered it 5 inches and am in the process of hooking up the wiring right now. I get happy just thinking about it! It’s coming along slowly but steadily, and is looking just the way I imagined it. That works for me! Furniture. Not everyone has a garage or the interest to build a street rod or to restore a car or motorcycle. Some learn to restore and refinish furniture that they pick up at yard sales, auctions or thrift shops. The process of acquiring the pieces of furniture to refinish is also therapeutic and a good way to unwind. Hot Wheels! One officer I know has set up an old desk in the bedroom of his apartment. On it he dismantles and customizes Hot Wheels cars. He has a magnifying lamp, a Dremel tool kit, an airbrush and a couple of small hand tools. He has a wonderful time taking these cars that set him back less than a dollar, and cutting them apart, chopping the tops, changing the wheels, combining two or more together for a phantom custom and then painting them with the airbrush. When he’s doing that, he is in his own world, and if you want an animated conversation, get him talking about his custom Hot Wheels collection! By the way, he has gotten involved in an online community of other Hot Wheels customizers - and they talk about everything except law enforcement and trauma. Music. I like to play guitar. Blues, primarily. When I sit down with my old Telecaster and pour my heart into an old Buddy Guy or Junior Wells song, I feel like I am in another time and place. (My wife sometimes wishes I was, at these times!). I get together with other musicians, some of them in law enforcement, others in intelligence agencies and other stressful jobs, and we play and sing like we have no sense at all! And we feel refreshed and ready to take on another day! Writing. Maybe not the great American novel, but how about writing some trainings in areas that you have some experience in? How about writing what other people in your position need to know? How about creating a blog, specifically for people in your profession and have helpful supportive info on it? What others are doing: Physical fitness, working out; photography and photo editing; travel, taking overnight or day trips to local places of interest; golf; hiking; bicycling: you don’t have to have a $500 bike to enjoy bicycling. Get one you can afford from a big box discount store and go get some fresh air and exercise. Try some gardening, or growing exotic plants indoors and become a semi expert at it; Singing! Volunteering in a civic organization like Big Brothers/Big Sisters, JayCees, Gideons, and others; taking a dance class (males are usually a valued commodity in hand dancing classes!); take a class at the local college, and prepare for your retirement in another field. Fishing works for a lot of people. I know a guy who gets his peace from his stamp collecting, trading and selling. He has become an online expuert at it. Few would dream he is in law enforcement. Become an online expert at something. Read everything you can find about something you’re interested in and collect all the knowledge you can in one place. Develop your spirit. Why did you go into law enforcement, rescue work, etc in the first place? It wasn’t a rational decision, it was a decision from the heart. You don’t do what you do because of the pay, the respect or the great hours. It is something that comes from the inside. Something that told you that you were put on the earth to make a difference. After repeated exposure to evil, death, intentional wickedness, you can become dispirited. You can feel overwhelmed, under rewarded and lost. You need to take care of your spirit, the part of you that got you into this profession in the first place; strengthen the inner voice. How? Go for walks. Develop a prayer life. Prayer is just talking to God. DO it even if you’re not religious and aren’t sure what you believe. That’s how I started out. Read spiritually uplifting books. Get in touch with some of the great inspirational writers. Pick up a Bible and start with the Psalms, or the Gospels (the first four books of the New Testament). Find an active and lively church where the people are friendly and the services are relevant, and get involved. It doesn’t have to be in the same faith tradition that you had when you were a child. This is about you getting in touch with your Creator and getting your spirit restored. Shop around, and don’t settle until you find one you can relate to. Communicate! Find someone whom you can trust and talk on the phone regularly. Not just when you need to talk, but just for the interaction. Make some good use of email. Type out what you’re going through and email someone who specializes in law enforcement, military or rescue worker trauma. Email me. A lot of people do. Sometimes we can link them with someone else and lifelong friendships are forged. Sometimes I can refer them to someone in their area who is experiences and can provide confidential help. Know that you’re not alone. There are millions before you, hundreds of thousands currently and millions after you who will experience some of these same things. Troubles don’t last forever, and storms do pass. Do what you can, and life will see to it that your help will come at the right time and in the right form.
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